Cat dreams

in the filing cabinet
you found your face,
a perfect match
between manila sheets.

August 5th

For Stonewall

death is futile; life is futile.

enough moments to witness,
     bury     move on;

there's no time before the bulldozer
     no reason     means,
to feel.

there's no stopping the sunlit rays
     on office buildings come morning,
no excuse,

     worthwhile; understood.

there are remote emotions
     in remote bodies     to be expunged.

in the sewage below, washed away
     the things we held dear,

before us     the importance of fluorescent lights
     another day     nothing to feel.

All I'm able to do now is Dream

I find out that my mom was outside
with Stonewall (my cat) & someone pushed a tree
on him, I cannot figure out where, why,
that could be, it's right outside on the front
lawn, Everyone is sad, mourning
my mom doesn't believe he could have made it,
survived, the tree is sunken down into it's
stump, fallen over & we go about lifting it,
it's light, underneath is a deep hole lined with
metal, like the entrance to a shuttle, steel ribs
flashing lights & I drop down to find him,
there is a bunch of strange
animals walking around, sliding around a
circular tunnel, I realize
Stonewall must have been placed inside
this brown turtle that appears to be just like
a miniature wooden figure that my sister has,
I can't pick him up
but push him toward the door,
the tunnel starts to shrink & the other
creatures begin to close in on us
I manage to push him against the door
but it closes trapping us, the turtle grabs the
handle tho & pushes open the door, I
push him out, then pick him up and rush
to the top of the tunnel outside,
***
I wake up, toss, remember the details
fall back to sleep
***
I run toward the house
& everyone is with me, I push the turtles head in & it opens,
or becomes something, spits out something, I open that &
some sort of gas mask/airplane oxygen mask is
inside, I'm confused & run back, my relatives are
peering down into the tunnel, I tell everyone Mike & me
are going back down to get him, there is
fear growing, I feel it like the air becomes
clogged in the dream, I believe he's down there okay
So we drop down again and there is a kind
of society where everyone looks like a fire fighter,
or policeman, I run frantically at first, watching the
eyes on us, there's chaos, suddenly the ceiling
is 50 feet above us, I realize
what is going on & stop, I begin to yell,
it's dawning on me, "Reptilians! Reptilians! I know
what this is! I know!" No one is listening but one
who turns sick lizard hateful eyes on us, he is dressed
like a cop, Ray Liotta, I yell louder & he uses
a psychic blast to silence
the crowd, walking like the body snatched in trolley lines.
I challenge their champion to a duel
in return for Stonewall, who I believe has now been
kidnapped, Mike agrees, the first man that listened
forces a crate 40 feet above us to
fall but I move out of the way & it falls harmlessly
crashing, he shatters glass and holds it in the air,
"You are blind," he says & fires the shards at me, I
close my eyes (watching this outside myself) & it harmlessly
passes, "I can close my eyes," I tell him, he is
angry, We walk on, "I want your champion,"
I tell him, he controls two high heeled shoes but
I grab them and hook them onto his clothes
that are now torn in two long slashes & he pulls himself
to the ground, growling, howling hissing lizard, I've
become impatient & the underground world is shrinking,
"I just want my cat," I scream, "You can keep ruling
the world, I don't give a shit, we couldn't rule ourselves
anyway, just give me back my fucking cat!"
My opponent casts cold green irises and struggles with the shoes.

Stoney

Remember little one when I could hold you in my hand,
when you strode on couches above the snow,
when sleepily I wrapped you against my chest
all those years ago?
now we wait, your chocolate hair mixed with gray
and hopping back and forth between our beds,
I'd listen for high pitched meow where
you'd be like, where's my food or where's your food?
Oh my yellow-green eyed baby, looking up
I'd carry you to see the world, I'd carry you
home.

Stonewall

Bring on those eight hour days
that I will gladly sleep away
under the shade of brick and shingle,
when I'm hungry I'll venture out
to hunt my slumbering inanimate prey
designed to sate my appetite,
then return to the scent of trees,
flowers, cars and man,
a soft cushion
blown through thin wire,
awaiting the clumsy flight
of a domesticated insect
or the rumble of busy ignorant feet,
the world of dreams flows much easier
tastes much better,
when I am master and interloper the same,
when I step on legs and arms
stretching out
dizzily, haphazardly and
breath fire into the night.