Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

barbed

barbs dig into my leg

they make a funny sound when i walk,      no,
an interesting sound

                                  enough so that i won't
remove them   
                      enough so that they'll slowly pierce

deeper into the skin

                                 buried there & 
                                                      enough so that
when i recall their presence

i'll allow them to feed on my flesh

consuming my life     leaving my memory

for dead.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Cat

and with the sun tucked under
your arm,
you carried my eyes before
the dawn

when i woke up i had forgotten
where to go

because there was no there
where you left me

that was many dreams ago

the last time we talked
you would never close your eyes again

or breathe

'dying is like going to sleep
and never waking up'

and i was there
where ill be

when im the next to find our dream

and we can say good night
forever.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Gone

I said when I met you
now rather regretfully
that you looked like a man
who would chain smoke
in a diner

you were dying of cancer
and came to work five days
a week

a few months later you
had died

what they said of you was brief

he was a good worker
one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet

Friday, April 28, 2017

Darling darling darling; an expose written about and by the universe

walk along the codex
rolodex

there is no movement
that is not singular

that is not me

the universe unto itself
is one flat landmass
without a rough edge

when i die it will be no more

i will make it so

when i live it will blossom

life will be found in all its non-corners

there will be no end
to life

the trees that grow out the skin
are all one tree living apart from
human time they are gestating
not yet to be born this earth is
too young and only the amoeba
swim on it

when i die i will cast you off

witness that true language is a virus

that thoughts outside your own have
ever slowly crept inside your head

nothing moves without my eyes to see

why have i created all these sad things?

this is not my fault

the rivers are spontaneous memory
do they begin or terminate at the source
without one there is not other imagine
how the mountain and the rain become
the shore and the ocean how land becomes
water and land again

i have ignored all these things

they arose sprouting from my mind as fungus

as vestigial reveries of other worlds

i am pulling the wheel

one day i will walk upon it

next in front

in the end it will crush me

packing me deep in warm soil

i will bask in the womb of entropy

i will have done many great and terrible things

least of which is this.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Routine

telephone is no more
     hangs from its own neck in the hall
phone is an upset child
     clinging to your thigh
     breathing hot air in fitful gasps & blows
     into your hairy sack
     your cancerous bowels
headphones muffle incoming radial frequencies
     kirby krackle waves
     disseminate realities
     pay the bills on time
     in credit
watch is ingested
     is alive
     counting each step into the future
     pushing on & on
     forcing the tick & tock passing of time
clock is digitized
     is a river rising
     is rising but stationary but widening
     but drying out but remaining forever
body is a casket
     made of water & dirt

Monday, April 3, 2017

Won't be reconciled

Everyday
with coffee.

it was strange you had
no recollection of me.

when years later
i saw you,
you made no effort to say,
'shit, it's been years, man!'

maybe it's that you
slept almost the entire time,
waking abruptly and shuffling to class.

i wonder, maybe, i had changed
more than i'd thought, becoming
unrecognizable, and
now, it's always going to be strange,

that last awkward memory,
the finality of it,
knowing that you have died.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

life of vols.

uneven, yellow gut, bound scuffed leather skin,
stretched to weaken, stuck with ancient glue,
chipped, dry, chipping;

                                      facing up to white tile
heaven, several infernal layers high;

                                                           beat to shit
by clumsy groping fingers, oil years, oil, years
oil, grease, ignored;

                                 edges fold, looking back,
locked in place, time, stance, break, spinal
snap, rest on floor, under shoes, weathered away,
running from, removed, broken home;

                                                               only the word
holds meaning, printer pressed, scanned and saved,
backed up, addressed, renamed, right on digital screen
tossed spent to metal cans, endless shape, or leaning
lost totems on dusty shelf.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Make-Up

My teeth clenched and          shuddering
will
       break the      world.

Listen I have done all this     in my own words

on my dry     skin
is written not a single word

only faded scars
I had hoped would never          fade.

Having only memory

even that          imagined

I am left to invent greater, even more terrible, lies.

          a multitude & many

all of this being one
where I bite down
and the rain answers

oh

drowning this attempt at resuscitation

soak & prune thy skin

and replace

I am unworthy of truth

there are none
there is none
there is no
there are no
no
no
no no no
no

look into these scars for they will soon be gone
and no one
                  will remember them
                                                    always
                                   anyway
                                        after all
                                                         ever after.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Current Issue

On back,
                man
they pour down fire
they pour up the smoke
they dig into the back for heavy lead
                underground
gorge on bedrock
chew iron spit steel
balk at untouchable things
they fuck it up,
                         man
they really fuck it up
searching for that next land
next swath of wood
next treasure trove

nobody think
ask the tortoise
how he feel,
                     man
nobody give a fuck
we boil the soup at whatever temp
them directions say
eat that shit up
stuff leftovers in plastic bags
fuck cares if they rot,
                                   man
you hear what they say?
nothing makes any god damn sense
all propaganda
you're trying to step off
who won't let you
we tell ya gotta go,
                                man
the back
how many years old?
we're nothing
if we don't keep on spending
then what?
using these gifts
resources left behind to what?
another body will burn them
what a waste,
                       man
think
all those starling beyond our grasp
more showing light every day
if we could only reach them
pull them into the below
wouldn't it be cushy then?
                                          man
wouldn't it be grand
don't they belong to us?
you and me?
                     man
already?

Thursday, March 9, 2017

We have what we came for

waiting
waiting
waiting to pull the metal coffin
to its place
     and when
            when it returns
stacked atop with bodies
waiting 
waiting
waiting to push it back
to forget
where it has been
     only
     only where it left its remains
waiting 
waiting
waiting to retrieve
     more markings
     more corpses
     more legs
     more trees
a shriek on rolling wheel
     again it goes forth
     again there it is
     again
waiting
waiting
waiting always waiting
             countless eyes
                             hands
                             hearts
                             burial mounds
regurgitated
replayed
rewound
               waiting.

Monday, February 27, 2017

LIO (your Life insurance officer is working hard for you)

Each joke strike a flat note budget references only get you so far
pop-culture references a little more so help the hours drone by

'I won't give you the satisfaction, fiend!'

sitting arms locked, face scowled

'I will not be complicit in your PowerPoint game!'

the only truth is a beneficial silence insured
I won't raise my hand I won't die in 10 20 30 40 years

you'll
never
be
rid
of
my mute existence

you'll never win

I won't be taken alive.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Possum

they tried to console me

about your death

told me that you stole food

that you weren't supposed to be

but that doesn't change the fact
I left you in the cold night
trailing halfhearted prayers

that I rode you down

that you died alone
upon the black earth

without even the headlights
to guide you home.

Friday, January 13, 2017

called death

forget to light the candle o'er
the fire's glow of faded edges,
what little can be remembered
of what once was though it's broken,
thrown away through burning wick,
the word flickers and suffocated,
pulses to each weakened breath,
is a starry, familiar ghoulish face

Monday, July 11, 2016

Gnat

there
you were the sky
where I grabbed you
and choked you
became your wing your legs
your body
pressed into paste
wiped black and grim
blood like body
or some other curse
where you were
taken
suffocated tortured
and broken
it was only a mistaken
reflex
movement in
the corner of the eye
I reached out for you but you pulled away
why? it was foolish. it was all your fault.

Friday, July 8, 2016

the act of compelling observance

red lights are exit signs

                                        green are to shelter in place

which one marks the stop sign while other marks go

jack boots slapped with lacquered black shoe polish snap in the street

the long blue uniformed mind of the law

                                                                    at war with no other side

senseless cowardice is the weapon of the oppressed

isn't it easier to drink the purified water you've been told exists

hand in your calloused gloves for the shackled fists that fit

watch what you do and where you go

alleys at night are bad places meant for the veiny stew

listen for the coming of the army of the republic

wave your banners in the coming blue dawn

                                                                          safety is none of your concern

Monday, June 13, 2016

Back by Editorial Demand

re-imagine these flowers as a million stalks of gold,
what all we could do with them then,
see yourself plucking them, holding them,
casting golden light under your chin,

re-imagine these rutted and dirt bland trees as immovable concrete stems,
what a brilliant throne to lay your bones to rest in,
feel the soul of levy washed in lions mane, laugh like Buddha,
outlined in pale blue acid rain,

          sniff along
     perforated edges
                         wax seals
                 knives dipped in ink
letters opened
          before the cut

re-examine your connection to the neighbor next door,
in each window on each floor, down the same column,
the same blue globes, on the same angles,
showing the same western hemispheres,

re-examine the bloody corpse of the stick-up man,
as the bullet ripped his stinking life to shreds,
and founding fathers safe in their tombs unmoved,
little, if any, price was paid,

powdered insignias
     match the warped floor boards
no kidding
       17c per squared inch
              on the mausoleum score board
there's rain predicted
      for the 8th
                 and oh the bodies of the sinner
they'll be caked in yellow
       and red

there
      one question on
   the scrolling
           screen of the damned
will be hotly debated
     over stiff hearts
                      hollow limb

remarkable mania
37 bullet holes in the horse drawn car
stabbed in the back
left for dead
forgotten her name
stayed in bed

it is with callous misregard that I plot the evening news
one lazy ass fuck one intership muck 101 keys to choose from
plotp plot plip pap down
the anti-biography is next paid for by commericial sponsored rubberbands
a kind hard plastic worm on old war parchment jams

re-iterate what the war room knows
there were always villains operating within in the state
they were all looking to get rich, shoot the score
out the veins of the wrists that cared,

re-iterate what is willingness to remain,
in the hills the brown wood ghosttowns fall without sounds,
there no tax man can hear or there
and the redrawn districts mount for the god of war

and submit
           their only recently
     possessed
souls
            to audit.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Think of all the toads

think of all the toads
                         down there
                         before my eyes
                         below the sewer grate
                         beside a dribbling creek
think of all the croaking
                         in the dank dark night
                         away from pink ears
                         with mosquitoes buzzing
                         without arms to bite
think of all the pairs of eyes
                         of each and every toad
                         abandoned by modern man
                         left in muddy patches
                         washed with insecticide
think of all the toads
                         separate around the world
think of all their ancient ways
                         lost to concrete tombs
think of all their tired legs
                         smashed flat by rubber bands
think of all the long lost toads
                         and wonder where they've gone

Monday, May 9, 2016

Me lines

these ridges write like a dead man
move horizontal on the page
slow stiff muscle memory ache
pink waves and white band lines
building tides below the waves
court the renal failure of old age.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Fur

between my eyes and sewer grate
from one life to another the time debt of years apart
the sphere of birth and death;

I am
willed along
through these
spaces

with no say

leaving many hands behind
like
typing fingers in the dark

one key off; 

some sense of unrequited something

some sense of
bitterness;

loss

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Sing-a-Long

go away and go away and
hang your sinking skin

I am looking for many other places
have never looked within

go away and go away and
hang your sulking skulls

on coat racks made of pearl white bones
and closets packed dark with stone

come away and come away and
hang your lonely hand

there's only one of me that can't
and only you who can

come away and go away and
disappear your head

they've found the me that wouldn't fit
and have eaten you instead