Sunday, December 28, 2014

on the other side of a diner's outside

This is an experiment

I
could
do without
the background
music, but we'll make it work

        on this cold
night, Friday night,
in March, everyone is
heading home under cover
of darkness, sky is void black
flatness, kind that's infinitely
impossible and construction
paper thin

          what it hides, if anything,
from me--

my every thought having
been written, spelled out,
removed, dissected, lobotomized
(an ice pick through
both eye sockets) & set
in place--this
          trip now,
it's getting clumsy,
jealousies & like V
said, what does it matter
we're not trying to make it...
          make it...?
we gotta
          make it
there's no one
and nothing else
but out there--
I'm folding the coast
and stars into my eyelidded bliss
          I can't rest--
wearing this tumor on my soul out
I lit a cigarette a million years ago
& the match,
          it hasn't gone out yet
it burns toward the center
consuming
the very heart of the world
and to find it,
each night in my dreams,
when I sing, she's
got a way in
 
          a diner, alone,
watching my hollow
self in the wall length window
obscures
               the truth of the cold outside
suburban northern Virginia
23rd St., Friday &

we're alone in the
collective isolation
of pretended reality
feigning cries of outraged
happiness, hatred--it's
motion--we've been

detected--abstracted--

          from--motion--

we return to--
are limited by--

      the brain is aged
      the body is victim
put together like
      legos
      and equally plastic

I
d
rown i
n c
o
ffee

drown in
self
image

(muted,
thankfully)--in favor
of satellite beamed
love songs--

radio--played behind
the walls
wind screams
friendly voices
              aged
boiling like the maggots
of the cheese
curdling

I--

I--

am seeking
an obstruction

god drew his finger down
through this great land
and dug a river
in it's marrow
that's our hearts
          to cross it
          is to really
          truly
          believe America
          to really breathe
          really live
          America
on this crusted earth
all the angels have
found it
have sung of it
          eternity like a
blaring wave
gilded, guiding my hand
oh, it is true
that we've forgotten much
          an Earth
          plummets into empty
          space while
ants scurry, are tortured on its surface
until not one shred of
understanding
remains

     dig your brow in its shimmering memory
and hot subjective
rainbow-scope reality
          collapsing--
feel for the open sprawl
and rushing (falling too) hills
     go--out West
is a song that rings in all
     true souls
never blinking
     &

that dream to
keep on going--well,
it's knowing--

All roads are one road.
Forevermore.  

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