Friday, February 28, 2014

I hope it hits you in the face

coming in fairly short
missed runaway slim
two lane drop zone
wingless flight, pictures
in head, kill the earth
where it stands, bury the
evidence in the cosmological
lie, all existence is finite so
fuck it, ya? they'll(re) make(ing)
movies about that shit,
pollute negate ignore
this is all you got to look foward to,
there's nothing

I am prophet entropy
calling you back
calling you forward,
heat death, end of time
fuck'all, right?

let's take this planet with us
when we go, humans deserve it
we earned it, it's ours,

there is only us
and shrinking (or expanding)
whatever our numbers tell us,
space, all empty without our flags,
sad really,

we'll throw some out there
some day, we already send out
trash and cameras, anyway
to get rid of it, ya know?

I'll mark it up on some calender
post an inspirational quote on
tumblr, those seem to work,
and we'll sleep tight under
the chemtrails, under the heavy snow,

I'll carry a wallet of bitcoins to
the funeral march, scattering their
abstract existence by the roadside.
singing all the way
one of our all-time hits

starts with a girl in the middle
encircled by men, uncountable,
uncomfortable.

ends like this--

Take a walk we me baby, take a walk

breath,
white plumes of
smoke, winter hangs
on, bitter cold
last day of Feb.
shortest month
rent still same,
food costs, trans.

what's in the bank?
I dunno,
other peoples money
I guess,
or the bank's lent it all,

that one seems more likely.

the latter one,

closed the door
chill slowly melts
shake it off,
heat hits like wall
and coats you,

I am more uncomfortable in it
than the cold,

three people stand in the elevator
staring at me
as the door closes,
I am 3 feet away.

fucking fuck.

assholes.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Employment up in Germany (DEU)

hopefully we can
get that dang number down to
theoretical abstractical 0%
get all those thinkers doers
be-ers into some office cube
get them motivated working
on keeping things right the same
perfect they's always been,
fitting into the machine money
making life completing dream
all shined up and walking busing
subwaying biking driving being
work work work work
'cause what would we be doing otherwise
the bible says to do it first commandment
if i'm not mistaken get that number
down down DOWN society functioning
promise everyone is safe get those feet
off the street occupy those 8 hours maybe more
if you try hard enough, what's that dream called
what's your concern, advancement evolution
right might right might right
google the whole explanation thing
it's in articles typed words businessmen have
been saying it, you can't make a buck
on thinking a' different way
so why try it?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The greatest shit

The greatest shit I ever took.
Elk City.
Oklahoma.
Motel 6.
off I-40.
on E State Highway 66.
couldn't find a bar
coffee at Loves.
walked up and down.
road.
too many of us.
had to sneak in.
one at a time.
Joe/Tommy, first.
Gabow vitaly me.
stray cats.
macks without cabs.
starry puddles.
slant face.
back door open.
I could barely make stairs.
inside.
close the door.
body relaxed.
we shouldn't be hittin' so many hotels
left it all and the coffee in the toilet.
never wanted to go home.

Snowy Alley

back-to-back
snowy forgotten alley
pungent street smells

lead with a haiku
not your face

lead with uh haiku
uh haiku, not your
snow storm hatter
sprinkled in remote
location swing, dance
recognize text read O-
C-R optical character
recognition (ABBREVIATED)
do a word search why don't ch--

not gone to back now we are
(anananagram)

what's it saymean probablynothing

so forget it all the meaning
say
all the meaning is in uh
ferse line

it's in the first line, see.

Prepared and Parcel

Good.
people eat.
snapping fat on
griddlekssssssh
internal organs
iron taste. bowels
urine. sweat. stench
of casing snap
oil clickclackclick
heavy air full air
thick on skin
wipe finger cross forehead
devoured medium rare
rare, blood seeps
on plate mixes gristle
fat tendon boils globs
breaks molds fills arteries
stomach mouth gut
glugglugblubglugglug
yellowed eyes dim
restaurant lights dim
hum of electric nothingness
hmmmmmmhmhmhmhmmmm
empty chairs fragrance of sopping
gravy, baking bread, steamed
vegatables, mixes in almost ready
almost done click of click
and hack

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pounder

left turn with
all the other left turns
headed home
snow fall earlier
now street just wet
turned over
torn up by winter
metro crowded,
standing like always
trying to choke down
some book some thought
some idea some reality,
there's nothing in my
fridge for dinner
but 4 bottles stout beer
4 pack tecate pounders
I follow the crowd home
or they follow me,
no energy to go out
once I'm in and changed,
no reason either,
I'll survive the night,
I forgot I had a quart of milk
tucked away in the back,
head out to the balcony
sun going down,
watch the miniatures
cut across highway lights
I wonder what they're going to eat,
or if they've got the same problem
as me.

I lost it

I saw the
great emptiness
and I opened my eyes to it,
opened my mind to it,
aceepted infinity in
all directions,
rejected all finite definitions,
all finite philosophies,
I saw the world fall apart,
truly fall apart,
the walls lurched back and
peeled away,
there was a great statue in the distance
a statue to represent all things
living, dead, built, imagined, destroyed,
it was no shape, one shape, all shape,
it was both miraculous and mundane,
there was complete silence,
a silence of the void,
the silence of solid space,
I saw this great emptiness
at the top of the stairs,
it was in some ways magenta colored
other times indigo blues,
I labored there forever,
suffered for but a few seconds,
I struggled to hold on
but the lie forced me back,
there was nowhere to rest my back,
nowhen to turn,
I saw the great emptiness
and I blinked.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Winter Prayer Ground

I said a prayer to
ghost of Appalachian Shawnee,
entered ritual cleansing waters,
not Jeffersonian springs,

what would my ancestors say?

that I bowed to nature,
humbly, naked,
that I stood in the cold?

that I am a disgrace to whiteness?

we don't ask,
we take
they'd say,

it's the only way,
they'd say,

to take,
not just the spring
or the land, or the idea,
but the bodies
it cleansed.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

(it) Kills

so long
you spoke a
word
goodbye and it
was spell,

I told you walking
forward

was a lie

you insist on finding cracks in
rock face, picking scabs off
my poor arms, poor legs,

I am exposed but you
turn away,

why? I don't know why
you've come,

will you take my fantasy?
will you strip me?

Is this end,

I have planned for all occasions
all outcomes,

I refused to write them down

they are forgotten, but I'll rummage
when time is near, when bell rings
for dinner on the buffalo's plains,
writ in sky, writ in holy high,

so long you speak the word
and I have followed,
walk in desert, no food, clothes
eyelids dry together, drinking sand
sad sand, all coughing,

I had hoped to lead myself,
master myself, but there are no
open spaces left, there aren't even
spaces, just names on tags
on shirts on souls on faces on dreams,

there's pavement and cars and bills
and whatever else,

the children force a mask on me,
it burns like ice, it warps, it spells

little sister sky little sister mud

it kills.

Now I am here

emerald stones
washed smooth
dim in some cupboard
tucked away
far from the west
of their birth,

I am where you cannot find me
I have found the edge

sediment slowly settles
to bottom of jar
pink sand and memory 
collide, forgetting past lives
figuring on the soul,

I am where you cannot find me
I have found the edge

Van and motor are gone now
crushed in some junkyard hell,
tides drift slowly, back in back 
and forth, back and overtake the
land, there is more sea then 
you'll ever know, ever experience,
ever see,

I was where you would not find me
now I am here.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

This one lost its way

In the MIRROR
you SAW some phantom
mis-remembered
a HOLY GHOST of the past,
a reckless soul giving way to
disinterest,

[a forced societal timeline
connection invading this poem]

directing his thought pattern top 7
what the fuck are people sodomizing
each other/themselves with?--He thought--
I looked--so OLD--so DIM--
unlike photographs--

triumph, denial,
shoots and ladder praise,
no wonder all children are
doomed to adhd
hallucinations &
HOPEFUL prescription cures--
work for a living--work
                            for a grave--

                            where have you been
                            besides computer TV
                            fiber optic flurry--?

[kiss him goodbye, he's a fossilized image.]

laugh, laugh

tweet

he EXISTS
             
                  un-penned
               
[without words there's no--]

PAGE.  

Brown Nose

Walt, you're probably
disappointed--

I've ignored any semblance of
allegorical mishmash
     connective tissue to
the past remembrance of
great heroes,

I guess I'm slowing down,

on birthdays
on Turtle Island atomic holocaust
                                       nightmare
while the non-grass carpeted world
                        howls a selfish
                        self-same, self-aggrandizing chorus
           at
an uncaring pitch
           relating stories

sadly

a million seconds in the wrong direction--

I've lost
grip on
the metaphor.

JC

Can't help but think of
Kansas on dreary gray days
like this, like the morning
we woke to cloudy Junction City,
van dead, trip in peril,
tow truck man (no 24 hour) taxi
man black holes of
Earth & all was well, this
was the road we walked
silently, in pairs, in threes,
in fives, to Stacey's & the
weeks ahead.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Fork

We walked the wooded road
alone, together
 rapids of shavers fork
gurgling in the background of
late afternoon sun,
she held my arm,
pulling on my shirt like always
like the last seven years always
walking in mountain silence
               we talked
we moved into the future slowly
the sun shone on her face
& I tried to look out
beyond the trees &
really see the forest aging, changing
and she kissed my arm absently
our feet ground eternity into dust
leaving no trace.

Perhaps Later

In this scenario
          you're sleeping
        I'm writing
          you were recently awake
          my body is still moving with
          the car
        I am unconsciously stationary

The fear of running empty
          pushes me on, like the night
        here is hopeful, quiet
          but not empty
          I feel my soul in the trees
          over the river
          I'm torn on car engines &
          ageless trees
        I am belonging to neither

I am undecided where to die.

Train Talk Blues II

V
Oh, these buses?
they won't last,
automobiles had its day,
where's my replacement?

VI
File these thoughts
     under security office flags

VII
All of your precious iced coffees
are brewed in water
I can tell because they've
retained the
taste.

8
Eight infinity chain link
walking upright, evolutionary
can't get going
I'm without a ticket--a pariah,
weakest link--
     you or me?

Train Talk Blues I

I
Man waiting on blue bus
--what's that on your phone

II
five of us waiting
stand-by,
who makes it?

III
If your bag's unattended!
Check that ID!

III.1
Check the time,
bet hours moving quicker now,
it'll be 12 before sun up,

IV
Orange vest,
baggage checks,
20 bucks extra for two.

Round Trip (postmarked)

Gettin' on that sad
overnight bus
300 mile round trip
to sad bygone Philadelphia,

see me in stark night
     I'm outta sleep
     and no words can
     puncture the veiny lines
     of heaven

we'll all go like the van's
in Kansas broken on that
last great trek--

and at least somebody
     still thinks the old girl
     made it in one piece &
     always will,

I'll be rolling back come sundown
only bluest highway eatin' my time

It's like this--
     before I hit home
     before I come around
     It's ended.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Autism War

Autism is the next phase of
the mind's war on civilization,
our next phase in battle for
true freedom--
to find that which cannot
be medicated, doped up, to
find that which cannot be
denied--
the schitzo cure didn't work,
didn't last long, this is upping
the ante, this is battle plan 2.0,
this might be the final go--

sink the mind or
free the mind
from this terrible shit from
this propaganda shit, from
this black hole brainwash shit,
remake the body's functionality,
retake the body's functions,
set us back on nature's path,

this is the nuke that
can save us

this is the dream put to work,
delineating slowly what
invisible insidious tether holds us in place
an enemy promoted by scientific fronts,
by it's own arrogance, insanity consciousness idea
magic of evolutionary societal time,

Autism is the great revolutionary
of our day,
a link to the collective mind

soon it will spread & take us all--
that's why they're so afraid--soon
pharmacological-sociological-structural-
military-industrial-healthcare-complex
will be consumed,

imagine billions and billions cured
instead of billions and billions served,

imagine a complete break from the current dream
imagine freedom within reach..

Storm drains

Red marks the winter storm
warning, we gotta castrate that
mass of swirling cloud mass 
too, or vilify it, or worse personify it,
color code it, cause a storm
never settled over the northeast
or dropped three feet o'snow,
like the blizzard of '93 never happened
cause it happened in '93 and that's 
too long ago for any sane american
to remember and who wants to when the
color coded danger spikes and blips
on radar screens and chirps in our ear
the 15 day forecast 90% chance of 
seeing weather news on weatherchannel.com
real world real life real science meteorological
nightmare scenarios broadcast on every street
corner camera shot we can get, can you 
believe it's raining? Really raining?

can you believe it's never done this before?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

His body was never found

Let's me and you
head up to those snowy
Sierra Nevada crags, round
Mt. Tamalpais way, just north
a' ol' San Fran, I'd like
to catch a glimpse of that
trail wandering bum, that
zen lunatic bum I've heard so
much about, some Bodhisattva
maniac on the pass, talking to hisself,
no dental records, no past, no claims,
just foot and mountain and broken shoes,

let's draw out a ring of bones,
let's meet the white fog on the hill,
let's say a prayer for skinny forgotten ghosts,
let's collect doomed berries,
let's break the lady's spell,

Let's me and you
head up to those snowy
Sierra Nevada cliffs, where
his body was never found.

Friday, February 7, 2014

I Once Appeared to William Blake in a Dream

I once appeared to
William Blake in a dream,
I was in mourning,
for daylight had passed onto night,
I was a shadow lurking
and he called out
to a vision of me,
through me,
it was raining outside my window,
there were long streaks and
gray streets, obscured,
I could not make out his cry,
it was muffled by oozing time,
by corporeal pain, by loosened screwed,
I tasted stale wine on my tongue,
he wretched at the smell
and I saw in that moment
I was but a phantom stretching out,
bleeding into void,
I was the nothingness sent to take him,
I was the coward stranger,
the burning savior,
I once appeared to
William Blake in a dream.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Parking Scheduled

about 34 degrees,
sky is that strange city glow,
purple-orange
hue, makes me think of rain
or the cold or 2 am walking home
drunk, street lights obscured
by dampness in the air,

I take a deep breath by the side
of the road, wait for a lazy car to pass,
it turns, lights fading away,

next car won't pass for a minute or so,
headlights off in the distance
out past Glebe,

I look both ways,
there's dark clouds gravid with
coming storms up there,
or maybe just the same old night
sky,

who knows...?

it'll have to wait, anyway,
I've got just enough time
to take a piss and get going.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Fell Asleep

I was outside
it wasn't raining

I am inside now
and it's raining

I closed the window
turned up the heater
but it got too warm
so I turned off the heater,
opened the window
pulled on a hat,

tried to type--
nothing going--

got very cold
closed the window
left the heater off
left a hat on,

felt alright about it
could've been better
blew onto my hands
shook off the chill,
took off the hat,
rolled up my sleeves,
got comfortable

ready to type--

Fall quickly, take suddenly

fall away you
little pieces of me and pick
yourselves up, I'll be screaming
into the void of my own design,
so i won't have time to drown
you,

"what is it about me,
           that you don't want to talk about?"

almost everything
out of the blackness
almost everything
out of the blankness

Fall

       AND

Crumble

       AND

Fall

       AND

Be mine.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Super Bowl Sunday

tumble weed in the streets,
K street streaked with
salty whiteness no cars,
angle parking on 9th
for church crowds,
empty restaurants sit you by
the window, leave
the coffee pot to its own devices,
or yours,
it's superbowl sunday,
all's quiet,
all are in worship,
chilling the beer,
unbuttoning the pants,
saying the prayer,
waiting for the kick-off,

release.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Chinese New Year

papers kept on coming
in a script I couldn't comprehend,
she talked fast, stacked faster,
one by one, making sure they faced out,
pointed out the headlines, the type,
some internal running clock,
some tragic bewildering force of
ink and newsprint,
getting the word out,
setting the world safe,
stuffing the plastic bag,
sending us on our way,

gotta recycle them eventually,
I thought,
maybe she just got carried away?