Cars Pass/Lazy Ears

Almost off and crashing

When I hear sound of rolling tires passing by,

Weighted pavement holds above

Streaking subway earthquake trains

Creaking dent metal hum vibration,

Signal dirty and gray labored breath

To outstretched arms and falling bronze sun,

Pull your window shade in the afternoon glow

Exchange it for environmentally safe bulbs twisted

in caring façade, lightening world snake coils under our nose-

And only

faded obscure signs

Point our way—

Hidden in sleep

the sound, the emptiness, the rain

Very nearly lost, sweet April rain reminds me

When I’m a child waiting out the storm to land a foot

Beyond puddle cratered bleary window outdoor apocalypse,

Chhhhhhhhhh chhhhhhhhhhhh chhhhhhhhhhhh

Tuh tuh tuh tuh titititit tuh chhhhhhhh

Silent umbrella extended human consciousness ponder

Dripping pregnant cloud impressionist highlights

On buildings across the city weighted indiscriminately, lonely—

The scars make infants of our happiness, frame our shadows crying.

And for all the dying

I’ve forged a prophesy of

My generation in a thousand deaths

Bridging infinity, I choke on blood

A burning transparent open sore

On roof of mouth I’ve been numb

In tree shaped window laying on gray

Frayed loving couch upright standing,

We talk like robots gone to slaughter, no?

I loved you too, in different lives

All ending in some endless timeless death

If I could scratch my eyes,

If I could lie still a-

Where, ah, where is world shatter light binge-

I, effortlessly need all our deaths, our life,

Come so far into forever and blinked

I cried on floor, million years yearning for you,

Tripping on time, lost myself to our eternal struggle

For nothing, of nothing, from nothing,

Wait for me, I can find you— grown old-

You’ll see me aged, wrinkled hands

dreamy, amnesiac, hey I only promise

So far— so far—while we’re gone-

And the sky to me—

Whisssssssssss shhhhhhhhiiiiiiiii hiiiiiiisssssssss

Whiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrr a laughing Vishnu god—

Ha ha muh ha ha hee hah ha—

Cars rush lightening fast- prescient—

Encased in downstream floating canal current,

Anyway, So words can meander and bleed, well

I’ve lived enough lives, and I’m weary—

So sleep until I wake with you a kiss

That rots the stars little dollhouse stars

Empty room with bodies limp- oh pretty picture

Your smile—

And back to, somewhat now, a story

Of mute lovely minds crammed with letters and

Keys—on screens like thought dancing-

Were she only a reflection I could release

Like black hole gravity to the void—

An angel grown old— how?

We question a god who laughs joyfully—

Ah ha starry hellfire anonymous,

All of every one of us blessed

By passing futures I’ve seen and loved-

Placed sign and cross, we carry to Golgotha

Our skulls at his feet the jester mammon

Who lies to follow, who knows?— to exist—

It’s rational.

I want to nudge my eye to find it, where my face jolted—adult and singular,

beard grown heavy, curious—wages unfamiliar war on rushing giants

rock and gas and molten existing to burn and die—

like us, encoded. Beautiful in empty space. in bright loneliness.

Living gods of flesh and sorrow—

Untold angel heretics falling from heavens breast—

I envy, love, you all.

Springs

I hear they grow the lemons here
on trees (stretching/labored) tuned to
major star collision
burnt brown dwarf smile
on 20th and snaking green elevated
highway road cosmic belt going east-west (infinitely)
to ocean towns sleepy and Harrisburg squat buildings
peddling their boring roofs
out behind big Pennsylvania
evergreen constellations,
each sip draining more--

I've fifteen dollars and twenty-three cents worth of groceries
and a few odd blocks to walk
Broad Street at orange night
blessed blue by moony god
spring distance

My kiss goodbye

Better to be devoured by the wolf then by the fleas
a german proverb proverbs at me from miles of years away,
cold long Atlantic ocean miles, printed black on white bookmark,
I've 3 bookmarks all for one book- on same page-
skinny little wolf standing on hind legs dirty and hungry,
where Jack runs from fame to Big Sur to alcohol to the sea--
asking us not to follow but we do,
like beatniks of old who grew up
to fuck us with genetically engineered seeds
and tall buildings that scorch the sky and city streets--

outside cold door sleeping
the air hangs hail heavy beating frozen ground
crack khish kish hiss tsk tsk kishk tsk
heavy on car windshield rush hour horror,

if that makes any sense
but to me, alone by night light
computer screen, typing in silence
cats somehow 12 years old now (how?)
serenely sleeping like only a cat can
in the dead of feverish night ageless hours
before morning,

soundless it hurt my ears

but please
don't go--
I've not written for you---

enough, my voice

like will o' wisp into eternal sadness
intangibly beautifully silent

My childhood love letter to growing old

I wrote turning dirt roads through
triangular cast-away underbrush
spring green smelling foliage
between suburban sprawl houses
squat and ignorant,
and don't you think that we should have
a baseball field on the back of the quarter?
isn't that America? Lady Babylon smiling
from trimmed bushes and driveway parked cars,
waiting patient, statuesque,
our beautiful apocryphal mother,
lighting fires by night starry sky
suicide squeeze charred baptismal remains,
she kisses my head, tucks me in america,
I close my eyes a century ago
under 1910 wood plank deteriorating ceiling,
the gods found new homes
beyond Jupiter storms and baby storms,
the rivers fell shouting you loved me
churning under blue bridge steps,
calling out through cyclone fences
grayed against calm brick row homes 
pot roast and potato dinners yawning through
chipped plaster, screened windows,
bums walking by on city streets miles north,
a child's fantasy growing old
while I sleep soundly to failed music and ginger charms.

7:05?

I go dizzy all this sudden cgi blue cloudless sky (fuck) wither call me joking
with princess darkness over hanging building (gardens) granary ancient blah
fever nausea glass of milk painted tree limbs leaning stained-glass gentle morning

separate the electric blue paranoia from me sleepless eyes and headache

Orange Peel

still life painting soft sponge
orange peel model, I'm legs extended
toward uneven plate, seeds are quickly dried,

chard chorus wavers moony without my brush,
and they found the wolly mamoth, he smiles
prehistoric love crushed in spring,
the global warming crack of baseball bat beauty,

a stitched ball, majestic, cuts sky and heaven-
blue crisp rising kisses white dot in empty eternity--
mad,

Pewter heaven and kitten

In the after-glimmer
of crazy Wednesday nights
he dons the mask unthinkable
truth, into dark thankless alleys
to wither and ply his trade,
the blacksmith silver soot decadent;
I watch the uncommon release
the energy ululating palpable
I touch, reaching out a finger, hidden
a black mass- a terror ancient dying,
tall figure burning out deep distance
like infinite space between his eyes
blind, what ideology is this? what horror?
what escape? the Dante like hot structured soup
of forget-me-nots, the flower deadly lisp
your kiss, a missile break releasing into tepid waters
deepening trench, the nighttime colors engulf his world
in bitter crisp bliss; it's heavenly by morning sky
and death; slumbering cat naps amongst the stage
nods, rising, content-exhales-
inhales-nocturnal-ligh-
pwwwrrrr-pwwwwrrr-ppwwwwr-
ppwwwwwr--

take the train from temple; dream

How nigh the gentrification march
shroudy 3 o' clock city star lamp,
manipulate the tune of desolation,
"Oh, terror tap the
tender tomb of gods"
And martyr.

quantum derelict electric train
churning slanted toke-toke-toke
hidden wheels--hidden wheels
liar time leer,

where she's fantastic
jeans painted, tights
high-heeled aching heaven
in my arms
undressed;

"Conversation metron
mining the world soul
honor roll...
         a berry feast
raspberry
         for idiots."

My carcass open--
caress tanned
slender hip and
shivering stomach
phantasm
denied immortality
orgasm--

sensuality in the
afterthought life holly tree, dense
tearing tear at my flesh-
smile for--
                Me--
Me silhouette lurking somewhere
in the void of the linear
mind-meld ghost plane; loneliness
A dedication to truth,
toll toll tower bells clang-
soft breast of gloomy lust--

Deny me-accept me-devote me-

Traveling world sore
traveling backward-

bury my face, saw palms,
anxiety, peace

your vision creation
not, like enough, doves and--

lines, a temporal vasectomy-erection
furrow shatter bow--

Oh, behold timid instant laughing fate; beat
drums to my wishes burdened
in primordial ears, the meaning of your rested thighs,
the quiet, the silence,
breathing,
the walls--

Allergy

Wawa (the corporation) is trying to kill me
I guess
switching up the iced coffee machine,
I'm allergic
mocha mint is lighter than regular
I should'ah known
but 7-11 is trippin' me out,
their french vanilla (all I could get in DC)
is light and mostly-
sugar water high fructose--
I really don't want hives (an 11 year old flashback
curse in the nurses office chocolate milk cyanide)
I'm pretty itchy and sure
some Benadryl-- breathing's okay...
I'll hold my-
breath, clear my throat--
of the paranoia anyways,
to make- 16oz burn way deep,
parked the car too close to curb,
eyed it--- ugh fxxk g-d dammit
(Hemingway wrote it or his editor, and
I'm leaning toward the latter,
he's got less to think about)

Butterfly

Holy earth breathing Caterpillar writes
end of time sparkling singularity,
water grays to tombs buried
mist-membrane-awake-too-late sadness,
clouds moist lumbering army
sailing cautious, troublesome
wispy skyline storyteller--
where questioning
little children (blank faced)
sit (indian style) & ask politely
our secrets,
the unencumbered God-answer
"twiddley-something or other
at the drugstore"- candy bar in hand
melting noonday sun, virginal
cold n' empty wordless answers

so to speak

on--

Lo' Mary can you listen? en en en
stock pitch & peel
wonder spentttxt
to the bleary bliss doe eyed future
coughing sensual millions legs, tears
like angel's quaking traffic jammed
street festival, vendors carry delicious meat
fragrant and primordial over worn shoulders
their dreams, light going red-yellow-red-black-go-
worldly row-
head pivot squirm-
iris-worm on soft (heaven's) mud pleasure-
off to green sunsets
and masochist dreamy island tangential glacier fantastic-

a tangent coming doom-

and what it means is an allusion sure- an illusion

time raises Michael's sword from dreary prescient drowning seas--

Chapter 3- At Home
Paint the scene-iconic view of bed-less room.

Traveled hat (beloved) lonely turned over grayed
lord of sock pile and soiled clothes
unwashed corduroys, jeans,
worried sun peeks through soft eyes
beyond my hidden window page-
pastel lighted spring taking turns acrobat thru
ruffled maple trees, where--
My coquettish bliss star, my--

woe angel night choosing backward
in tocking time detonation
tick aging linear eye- that eye, mine--
brown in mirror memory,
hollow, reversed ha ha oh ha
empty bottle reflecting light
(but where outside we left)
on window sill limbo forgotten between worlds
where it rots like mountain tavern wood,
beautiful & aged,

fertile-telling thousand foot fall-wingless
scythe in hand terror-

reacts in village stare
to deathly slope abandoned,

we're coming to the end.
the end of thought.

the end of ind- the end
of me-

Great lightening blue peels
the sky back- ruptures the filament
glory heaven skyward toward
silence- godlessness- broadened

machine centipede warped thought
our Caterpillar-life-fantasy
in spinning wheel- devour what's left under
heavy red sun god-
almighty revenge--

The Interlude is:
The caterpillar is:

last statement, final will & testament
betrayed, laugh hoary cocoon ululating madness;
vengeful genetic joke-

I've only million memories to live
not far from titan walked-like godly ground,
unable to taste the sky,
1,000 feet above molten world untended grass-

It's brown-green blankly-
the breeze
a saintly prayer invoking afterlife

I live above earth-
my cataclysm end-

A fissure in the void
exposed emptiness-

Meaning:
dance with me
(feathered) peacefully
love like rain on bird-wing gnarled
entangle in marching band salute-
cracks like Zues across open field-

Meaning:
We've all along
noticed rising seas
in sandy rich doom
sun setting-

and panning back
helicopter shot to
fairy parade near street sign treasure,
automated signal-

how then-

growing old
goading the beast, whisper whisper whisper
mother beginning supper hour
children's voice unseats the dusky pinkness of burning clouds

stairs adorn decent. decent by beyond. table to after. Night. a populous recount.
beer wine story. darkened porch. stagger home. running shower. sleep.

star rain in heavens army, tiny sun youthful at one billion years-

and the dawning Milky Way
dying in white space-time human nothingness admonished,

Butterfly reflect the reincarnation march time of buried dreaming prophesy,
a baptism,
every wandering loss,
sad pull of toddler legs
and wingless--!

the universal birth of man
empty temptation failure--

unfolding conception--

Nobody Knows

I've written every bleeding novel in my carnival created world
on the shitter with clock rolling down to black zeroes
bell ringing past jumping caffeine hills shaking mad
out into infernal green distances, we can walk--
if you'd like, mist n' rain lay puddles at our feet
in paradise, gentle?

But you couldn't care tickle-tap o/v/r
burning coals heaven spent,

golden lace gleam in sun spot beauty
bloated deep red and swallows the world
a billion years from now cinder cold--

I'll hold you dearly dearest,
parsonne sai

I'll

1 day ago the words trail away from me sea foam green clouds in song of celebration silverfish a mockery plasma and not enough lines to fill the void day ruby crystal ridge I planted on tomorrow, and ever after after understanding of the death we all bow to like splinters in dry cracked wood tipping out of forest clean american between the alleyways squat houses wilderness--

tranquil muse
on earthly shore
above the sea

when blister angels fall to earth
I'll eat with you-

frozen

Tired sleeping eyes closed

I can type while the stars falter--
utter (eventual) desolation-mixture,
two men walking solitary
hands-in-pockets-thinking
on faded street lit night,
I'm stories above and bodiless-
emptiness leeching from cold bones;
there's a beautiful burst, a terrible
peculiarity by the corner market,
baking bread in spanish hovel 25c-
apiece,

kiss kiss ambivalent night-time lullaby bliss
tired-world dog on sidewalk sleeping sadness
cradled in flour, butter airy mess