My entrance escaped

You struck me dead of night
when I forgetfully dream,
notebook placed near pillow
and silly thoughts of sightless Philadelphia skies
alleyway skies over city to blinking red light
it's getting brighter- across bounding horizon
my vision my eyes my caring near-sighted glass anomaly,
I write that down I pay the toll I,
jersey turnpike tool anonymous clerical beast
oh that's funny, I dropped it on my shoes
samba soft sole black Adidas 1968 (don't
cost much) 4:11amdrearysleepdreamtime,
you're angelic chrome blades
I'm wrapped against may chills
calling backwards into daylit revolutions
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!
my bloody arrival.

And this little notation

Sequential image lantern slide shining light illusion
my life's become like 1800s technology a fantastic show
with missing pieces, I leave them in different places
some dark hole cosmic blunder suffocating endless worlds
where your hair likely blocks out billowy suns,
billowy suns? My mercurial visions revolving closely
about our starry stars, my star; Remember when you wink
I die a rapturous death, gladly--
your silhouette dances at each click,
old-untimed switch and day dream attics,
alone I think of smiles that blaze bitter night
I'm wrapped around you
at the center of the dimensional black hole
You raze solar systems, I stand by your side
You hold onto my arm tugging my sleeve;

Waterfront-SEU

Everything's tinted
grey-blu melted sky,
singing Amazing Grace
under my breath for all
lost creatures;
Thin wind breaker & matching
hat trying to decide at
trash can Kleenex,
dog shit in plastic bag
above the rim,
*siren* *siren* whirls,
along the Potomac
river smell & southwest wharf;
no coffee at the Cantina Marina, old;
Open for Nat's games &
setting sun would be beautiful
1 pm in afternoon
gently down the stream,
song is haunting when I think now,
as a child innocent
confident in infinite years,
Life is but a dream,
wrinkling--
Cloudy & lonely rock,
it scares me to sing
paranoid & aging
when I was a little boy
would I die? Laughing into night forevers
& wizard immortality
with the sea like uncaring
beyond the river flows
and I hum,
god black crow on
light transparent orb welcome entrance
black steel tree,
there's wires within,
beating red blood--
I see world vision out my eye
like devilish spiral top
blinking place to place,
so I sense sometime
I left my realities behind
drowning
in greys--
the river murmurs
merrily, merrily 

a violent anachronism

Har har crippled ark
me Blakian love like
craggy rock teetering rock
starve us to the bitter seas
call doves shit rain melds
gravity,

I'm incoherent
abstract painting (frenchie)
thick waves of oil paint
and smell of turpentine

Quick!

I brush your slender hips,

O they're gusts o' wind
in purple streaking hell
made altered reality
on canvas,
breathing-
a vision-

and it's worthless to write this poem (while I write it)
with maggots fill my mouth (in brown ground dirt)
and paintings will rot and rust (in warehouse art museums),
and I'll age and wrinkle and forget and die
leaving disembodied words to be forgiven by
clean servers seeking new spaces deleting unreadable text;

Dream B

I'm sitting precarious on slim wooden dock boards
fevered head under pillow dreamy like deep green water
rushing displaced, there's unearthly whale turning starboard
black with white marks and looking like heaven crashing,
I'm wondering how all life is moving sleeping, tide rising
should be under, under; cold belching nothingness,
It's telling me, I can reach out touch it's breaching skin,
It's god on earth and I'm leaping still, it's passed with
waterfall one thousand feet, no bottom to the sea
only green abyss sucking at my feet and splintered hands

Interviews and Interviews

get bus to New York
the subway leaves 27th St goooooooin
uptown 42nd (old den of fairies stalking sailors
park bench and night time wine)
off at times square and on the (7)
Grand Central's next (still on 42)
couple blocks to the hudson on foot
FDR drive/Warehouse
change of shoes (no hat;forgot tie)
back out half-hour lapse--
won'dring how my mind
rushes off on its own, do I scratch my face?
cross my arms? Hand's in pocket?
I'm hyper-normal or something
I'm not sweating, walk the eight blocks to 9th
cause to 31st is my bus- supposedly
it's two hours late, I need this bitch complaining behind me
for sure-
but it's here, engine roaring ignoring
the jacket I zipped up an hour ago,
I stare pretty hard, but acquiesce to it's wheels
they'll take me home (o'er 95) to
just miss Joe's tuna salad,
and the house smells like I'm tired-
I change.

Dreams A

If she wants these turkeys boiling morbid
from now on she's gonna have to drop this
poison herself, pock marked day-glo lime
melting the ground in sick greens sucking earth grass bubble shit
all for some BBQ video game fantasy
I'm stepping over thousands (some so small and colorful)
outside their sturdy terrible cage reflections, why can't we
just take some bullets while my vomit
continues to flow deep dark forest colors, I'm soaked

If you can make sense of this it's for you

There were woods, a forest in this dream
I had rushing through when a murderous eye
peering from unseen eons broke my stride
bounding down church stairs (I was,
                                            not the eye,
                                            it was implanted in my
                                            memory or the background,
                                            sinister)
took one step, then three
I lost your face, those starry eyes
we held some dark secret, huh? Right,
in a way I recall, like blood as I kneel
above my sister on Nana's stoop
                                             (It was so red)
Only you would know memories
that pour from my mind drowning
I rip at them one by one, stretching
to get to that core, gooky and all gobbled up,
pulling branches when I hit the door
the air is like it's not even there, when you think about it--
like it never cares, just remains invisible watching us fall,
sound is a vacuum too in my little dream space
that seemingly insanely spans my mind (A ticking bomb
                                                           you love, and listen
                                                           lovely)
Alarms buuudooop dooo daaah kitch baaaa
preloaded LG nightmare rescue groggy,
maroon curtains ha ha-ing at me 12:30pm
they block out the day the sun the day really do
o
o
oooh
Hold me, in my dream curse
in this aging life smiling
kiss my reveries and I'll love you
like I always have
as we whiiiiiiiiir whiiiiir whiiiiiiiiiir
with spinning dizzy earth
Amen.

Benediction

I smell mango on my hands
pins-n-needle fingers tapping remote control rubber,
and ages ago the Dutch thought
these things and put those villagers to work
probably killing them, or in the very,
historically correct, least hastened their trek
to afterlives of their own creation (volition)
Which is why I don't question your existence God--
I welcome it, in the brawling imaginary sky balling home
tears and mana and hellfire
and when I look back you turn my wife to salt pillar
in a way so the Dutch guy over there swipes
his finger a taste and wishes it was sugar ha

Anyways

don't cha know the rain's got this street all closed off
and this cops got Kevin Arnold innocence pouting
torrentially on dark features in the night getting later,
the train bridge arching through time stamped in place
on old suburban roads off the highway rumbling center,
my feet damp from running few blocks to car
20 minutes or so ago and two detours, my heart heavy
missing something I can't place in the leaning hours toward daylight,
the bed groans, my head sinks, I think of sleep, love,
the windows streak, I move toward them perpetually,
I miss the turn and the street rises on long ago primordial hills
and I'm sure some dinosaurs or the ice age, I tap the wheel
so the cd skips, thin opening in window forgets the song,
I lose the sound
and hey, I'm not sure I was ever listening

Disappears just white enough

Hey, if I cover up my shirt (bright Orange)
no one could see (but it's cold or it seems to be)
clear and wispy cloud sky disappears just white enough
to obscure god, like my glass (I washed) only to pour
some milk, (it's neverending that cycle of human understanding;
it has to be washed/someone ought to wash it/drink it) left in
metal tasting gray sink to wash and rail on stainless steal,
a dog yelps under clever powder blue somewheres past the dryer pipes
and unused chimney grave yards, I hope he's okay invisible...
I change and remnants remain looking up at me, bubbling,
thoughtless-- I'll take a page from the book,
look it over, plaster it on the sky wall, the deep horizon pillowman,
the America that keeps on rolling, the text that reads like water,
silently waking toward better mornings

Dinner

House takes on
warmth of dinner
tip-toeing in from kitchen,
scent and oven beat against
rain streaked windows
of gray outside,
and who is God but a little girl
returned home from school?
In my joy-misery earthly reverie
uncontrolled I ask--
Where is my mother- who?
preparing dinner highways away
anyways, smile for her and dress up,
wait for steak (london broil), sweet potato,
brussel sprouts, bread, and wine--
A misfit refugee little family
settled down to eat
where cheers in clear glass
safe from hateful stars,
a red moon titan world

Library

Standing outside library on hustle to-and-fro and north-south street she

thinks of other libraries in the cold elsewhere biting her lip, flipping her finger

like lighter at hem of skirt black against slender tan legs, 

doors stare back, cold reflections protect shelves and novels, old women

shuffle, speaking, ignore; a boredom,

a closed library-verse multiplied space with infinite doorway entrance,

outside the flowers grow and the tv's blaze and language dies,

If I'd hold her in my arms and she'd cry

I could forgive my dried up voice

And she’d likely sing

“Besides—they’re only plastic coated,”

(forgetting her overdue books)

Houses fixed by roadside stare

The alleys reach that parallel nowhere

Bleeding left to right one-way dimensions,

There families wait and eat and wait

Watching from protruding tri-window ledges

my olive corduroy pants and Mao cap

passing by, labored by maybe noticeable limp

and slouched posture (I’ll have to fix- sometime)

and no destination but absent-minded wonder

under yellowing sky weary blue cloud cluster dusk 

Like Fractured Happiness

And like fractured knife impurity

It ever widens, ceaseless sky

Rotated upside down, so I’m

Holding my breath or vomit,

Pretty fairy lithely drowns us believers,

Though we’re the only ones

Massed and twirling at dawn

Inside twisted city ruins, walls

Show brick cracked and red brown

Under plaster that takes cue from rough seas,

And beware the rip-tide at night,

Undertow doing that silly harmless

Dance, harmless until skies grow blue eternity

Sparkle imageless and die,

Like where are the stars that guide us?

A childlike question I’m prone to ask

But with illimitable vast consequences

That I mean to mean but

Meaning much more than my words can gather,

Old owl in tree miles away spotting prey, inland—

Ignore my foamy hand and tight brow, my tattered hair

And fading youth—