Monday, March 31, 2014

We should never have lasted the first month

On the train platform
I heard your shrill voice
mad voice, truly mad,
cuts on your thighs
where you'd clawed yourself,
cuts on my wrists where
you'd grabbed me,
I thought I had escaped,
tears running down your face,
not sad but angry,
we held ourselves together needlessly
for so long, we finally shattered,
I tried to walk away, train
hadn't come (I had imaginary
places to be) I can't remember
now what you were shouting
when you grabbed me,
or when the cops came,
or what it was like, what
I was thinking,
my hands on the trunk,
then behind my back,
then he was handing me the ticket
(domestic disturbance)
I can only now
how much I hated you
I can only remember wondering
why I felt trapped,
I can only remember your
terrible, distorted crystal blue eyes,
I can only remember it
as a dream,
I can't remember where I went from there,
how I got home,
I remember watching Dragon Ball Z
with mike, hiding bloody arms,
I think this was near the end,
it's sad these memories are the only ones
left after all those years,
you stole so much from me.

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