They up and left together; The Pall Mall Girl

she looked lonelier than the pack of Pall Malls at her feet,
carton left by some passer-by for the subway floor
there was a chance cigarette or two left
each rider thinking to pick them up, even if you weren't to smoke
just trying to make a score
but not a soul willing to make the move between her legs
so tension hung in on the car
all eyes at this girl's feet
while she leaned her head against the Plexiglas partition
headphones in lips pouted eyes going nowhere fast
clothes drab gray old and waning still
we waited we watched and I couldn't guess her age
as her bag slunk to cover the rolled tobacco rolled paper
arm and hand relaxed in dazed lost sleep control
those fidgeting addicts wish scratch feel watch
red light and doors open close bodies move and feet shuffle
the abrupt jerk of engine brakes subway stop noise
and by the next stop in case you missed it
the girl and the Pall Malls were gone.

Exposure

     hey man you got a bum might wanna dollar somethin to eat maybe hey thanks lady pass by credit card carry lunch crowd thin dirty dying sonuva but just don't let me see flesh out on the sewer grate street--dentist says "open up now open up"--dying of hunger just as long as my eyes can walk by downcast or up above over filth should be ashamed is ashamed never worked a--security on it's way guy been exposing himself to gentle innocent costumers outside corner deli--"shits can die and leave us alone a stain on our public soul
     ive seen those lost ugly assholes beating rain snow cold on exhaust pipe holes sick sick sick"--what's he going to do with that cash anyway honey drugs death ugliness homelessness it's a disease laziness apathy doesn't move like the rest of us shiney silver feet and if--the street sweeper moans--and if there is anything left of him it'll be too much for me to see--shudder shudder--nakedness that's stark unclean what's wrong with them--
     nakedness

How our oil flows

dump that sewage over here
I'll make a meme about it
you'll see how the rivers flow
rainbow colored and smog bathed
imagine the scarecrows cooing
sunflowers twin faced and blue
beneath their hangman feet
mountains dry as deserts
in the known distant suburb land
evergreens ever brown mud
until they're cut down
dragged by their legs
when nothing grows nothing grows
no one will know in 20 years
where our water went
how our oil flows
what was dying
what needed to be killed.

paws will pounce

face in corner
white walls
shadow
light and bent
nose
travels the scent
failed escapes
eyes plot
the trajectory
hunt the mark

all the bugs are gone
been gone
eaten
been dead
belly up

ears twitch
stretch
open
muscle tense
eyes all pupil
follow last steps
search ceiling
walls
rug
floor

all the bugs are dead
been dead
gone
been eaten
belly up

a lustful mew
is a sigh
is longing
on a candlelight vigil

meteors will fall tonight
moon will sink tomorrow
bugs will crawl evermore
paws will pounce
again
and again

if this is light, let it bleed through

fissures on his hand
     cracks in reality
if this is light
     let it bleed through
he lets it mean something
     but maybe it's nothing
there's always that
     she tells him
there's doubt that I'm here
     even here
he's maybe space
     empty in a parallel world
even that could be
     even then I am nothing
he says
     always like that
uncertain
     never comfort him
she thinks
     in this world I am space
there I am
     fading away
neither here nor there
     remember the first thought
run from pain and death
     in these other worlds
who are you?
    I am me he says
I am you she says
    I me she repeats
I am you he says
    the future is unclear
universe clairvoyant
     timeline is buried
in the milky way
     palm of the galaxy
life line is strong
     but the meaning fades
like the cracks on her hand
     like a fissure in reality

August 5th

For Stonewall

death is futile; life is futile.

enough moments to witness,
     bury     move on;

there's no time before the bulldozer
     no reason     means,
to feel.

there's no stopping the sunlit rays
     on office buildings come morning,
no excuse,

     worthwhile; understood.

there are remote emotions
     in remote bodies     to be expunged.

in the sewage below, washed away
     the things we held dear,

before us     the importance of fluorescent lights
     another day     nothing to feel.

Starbucks on the right

cardboard coated windows
brown heart of darkness
searching eyes
insidious intent
great destroyer
branded in san serif
font, blind,
white

bland.
uncompromising.
remorseless.

leaving the house -- cat poem

my cat's eyes plead
don't go--
but I must,

even if he'll never know why.

Silent in the glow of a yellow roadside

a street and its cars;

I am alone
     unknown

a sidewalk splits the road
     a wooden porch
          fenced off
               splits concrete
                    removed

sun breaks the horizon
     yields to night
          oh the day is lost
               silenced

I am silent
     I will not speak
          not ever
               not now

Green street signs face me
     respond in weary silence
          no directions
               they will not speak
                    not ever
                         almost never

Post-A/C

It was the last
night
on earth
and the a/c was
broken,

there were
sex shops on every
corner
selling any kind
of fruit you could
imagine,

the children had
strawberry blood in
their hair
on their hands,

radios in the
houses that lined
the last street
cycled through
the top 100
playlists,

each decade started
1900 2000 30-

it was impossible
to forget what
you were doing
when it happened,

it was impossible
to continue to
do it,

the sun was
shaped like a
mushroom cloud
like a bomb
from heaven,

like an egg
the moon broke
yellow milky yolk
fried on dark teflon
canvas overhead,

everyone was there
to watch and
when it was over
they smiled toothless grins
and left with empty
sockets where the
eyes had been,

this was the last
night
on earth
written with
its last
pen

bad deal

you really like fish
     and I can't even remember what year it is

most of the time
you like fish
     I can never settle on the year

or;     I mean

I can never get that last number right
     and you like all non-white meat fish

mostly

     lobster is seafood not fish
red when boiled

dyes my hand     slick and red
     buttery

I wipe them on my shirt

the dark figure in the dank archway     by the dock

turn out yer pockets     wallet
     purse

stink of fish     brown water     machine
     gunpowder     oil

the slow moving clouds as the sun sets

a drifting thought

old forgotten dream 4

suicide I've committed suicide under control of some spirit.
I am no longer under control. I've passed on.
scene shift to
weird ocean impressionist landscape with water rising very high see people,
head above waves the crests, they are thrown out and land on the shore, 
seems like a wave is going to hit me, then nothing, the water recedes and we retreat, 
under the water had been these elaborate sand structures, 
mike tells me people had built them 
but maybe I don't know they were under the ocean, 
scene shift to
I meet some demon spirit thing (I feel he is likely malicious
but we have an understanding from other selves long ago and we go our separate ways.)
it's a type of restaurant/bakery cake place 
I am running around--secret agent style 
some times without gun just hand in gun pose some times with gun hands at my sides. 
scene shift to
dark wooded area firefight against furry alien creatures 
who are really humans in elaborate costume pretending to be furry alien creatures
eventually they realize they are human removing their masks
and now aren't going along with my sound effect gun blasts 
I swing the butt of my toy rifle violently in an attempt to bludgeon them. 

old forgotten dream 3

Here we are in some facility underground
maybe we broke into it
i dunno
do you know?
there is another group of people, hidden...
yeah it's like an airplane cabin
dungeon kinda thing that we can be sure 
we don't have many supplies left
and should get into the safer rooms that are being guarded by that other group. 
But they won't let us. 
We are wrestling with them. 
Another group comes in masked
I have a bad feeling about them, you?
they seem malicious...dangerous, I fear they might be after us. 
we must try to get into the safe rooms and close the door. 
outside is cold nothingness and at an end.

old forgotten dream 2

I realize the meaning of existence, life, death i see it. 
I begin to have trouble breathing. 
A pillow appears above me, like a static image. blinks in and out. 
I know having uncovered reality I am to die.

old forgotten dream

couldn't reach pedal 
kept getting stuck 
in close quarters, 
but no walls, no objects
backing up close to people
that weren't standing there, 
saw this picture of missing girl 
her friend and 
saw her in reality 
pass by on bike 
(later I knew that bike was a man) 

felicia was like you shouldn't have seen her
that wasn't right,
this seemed to be the reason i couldn't find the pedal.